I’ve sometimes wondered what it would be like to write like a “real” travel blogger. Who knows, I might immediately get offered perks like six free nights at the Paris Hilton – or not. Anyways, I reckon it just wouldn’t be me if I wrote a completely factual story along of the lines of “while you’re there, you just absolutely must visit the Shady Gums Memorial Gardens. It’s so peaceful walking amongst the tombstones, and you may even be lucky enough to spot some sheep grazing in the distance. Remember to pack your umbrella because it rains sometimes.” So, here’s a factual account of our trip so far, told as vignettes – you know, those little films that fade in for a few seconds, then fade back to black.
Friday morning. Early. In the back of Murray’s car heading into a foggy landscape of half-hills and treetops peeking out from the grey. Where’s the airport? Ah, wrong turn at the roundabout. Can’t park here, the sign says Lexus owners only.
Who’da thought Toowoomba would finally have a real airport. All shiny with proper gates and everything. Look, there’s Sam, off to Melbourne. Our flight’s first, or should have been. Whoa, that’s a small plane. And, it has even smaller seats!
Flying much lower this time. Endless grey parched landscape. Barren fields roll on and on, then suddenly, Sydney. Roofs, marinas for the rich people, more roofs for those who can’t afford the yachts. There’s the Bridge and the Opera House! Bump, we’re down.
The hotel’s near, but we catch the shuttle. Ah, probably could have walked. That must be why the lady was so keen to book the return shuttle for tomorrow. Thanks driver. Smiling guy in snappy uniform. “Can I take your bags? – No?” Melts back into his mahogany desk. Now for a quiet afternoon, good pizza at the casual dining, and bad dessert waffles at the fancy place – all balances out in the end I guess.
Saturday. Up way too early – too many horror stories about getting to the airport late. Different shuttle guy – looking for Mr and Mrs Bruce – yep, that’s us. Traffic chaos. Cutting in and out of lanes like only a shuttle bus can. “They’ve closed the lane to the departures – but I know a back way.” Thanks driver. Now to find counter H.
Why does someone with a major problem always reach the counter just ahead of us? Ah, sorted – finally. What? Our flight to Auckland is badly delayed? “You’ll still make your connection if I move you to the earlier flight.” Good news. “It boards in fifteen minutes.” The Amazing Race begins. Don’t know our way so follow the signs. “All gates this way”. Thank goodness for electronic passport scanners. Oh no! Ten thousand people in line at security.
Run (literally) the last six hundred yards to Gate 35. Big electronic sign says “Denpasar – Boarding Now. Auckland – Relax”. Not feeling very relaxed. Why didn’t the check-in lady tell us this flight was delayed too? Could have stopped at the shops. Can’t leave now, they might board soon.
Off at last. Hey, that looks like a good movie. All action right from the start. The hero is fighting for his life on the edge of a cliff. Ding dong. “Sorry to interrupt folks. Please watch this important safety video.” Grumble grumble. Not worried about what happens “In the unlikely event of an emergency”. Hey, the in-flight menu looks really good!
LamondG 