Australians don’t understand lakes, probably because we don’t really have any. Sure, we have puddles, and ponds, and the occasional billabong, but lakes – not so much. So, you’ll see why the idea of packing up the billy lids and head’n “to the lake” for the summer seems just a bit wonky to me. Editor’s note – non-Stralians please refer to the glossary of terms below.
So, here we are. It’s Mundy mornin and Kirsty announces we’re off to visit our friends Dina and Vince “at the beach”. You little ripper! I love the beach. Surf, sand, maybe a chance to catch a few waves. Oh no! I left me surfboard and the bottle of shark repellent back in Oz. And besides, don’t Dina and Vince live off in the bush somewhere? Hey Kirsty – please explain? “No dad, you know Canada doesn’t have any ‘proper’ beaches. We’re going to the lake.” I’m still none the wiser, but, in cases like this, just grab yer budgie smugglers and surf the wave.
So here we are, five hours later, driving along the inaptly named Beach Street. It’s the main street of Peachland, and feels sorta like a Beach Street you’d see anywhere along the Aussie coast. On our right (because we’re driving on the wrong side of the road), there’s the usual assortment of cafes and tourist shops. On our left is Lake Okanagan. Time to nip in and see Dina and Vince, then we can have a dip. The GPS directs us up the hill and finally announces “You have reached your destination – on the right.” What a spot! You can see way out over the lake to the dry barren hills behind. Nanette and I look at each other “Feel the serenity.”
All right everyone, back in the van. We’re gotta see that beach! In less than no time, we’re back in Beach Street looking for a parking spot. There’s lots of cars, but no sign of anyone splashing in the waves. Vince explains. “We don’t get waves on the lake. Well, there’s a few during the really big thunderstorms, but the ride isn’t very long.” I have visions of waves and wetsuits, and thrill-seeking kids dodging between the lightning strikes. Strewth, I knew Canadians are tough, but that takes the cake! Unfortunately, no storms today, so we have to content ourselves in trooping down to the rocky little micro-beach to wet our feet and skip stones across the water with the kids. It’s sorta fun, but not as exciting as the “dash in to the waves, get dumped by a big one and get salty water up yer snoz” life we’re used to.
We do get a bit of a thrill when a guy turns up with Scooby Doo, the Labrador non-Retriever. He assures us Scooby may be old, but he just loves to play fetch. The guy chucks Scooby’s favourite ball in the water. Scooby watches it float away. Well – that was fun. Time to grab an ice-cream.
Glossary
Okker – regular Aussie male – often middle age, sometimes wears a wide brimmed hat
Billabong – waterhole – may or may not include itinerant vagrants called swagmen
Billy lids – kids – junior family members
Wonky – weird
Little ripper – person who does something particularly good – not necessarily a person of small stature
Oz – Australia – generally shortened to Stralia
Budgie smugglers – male swimming attire made famous by Olympic swimmers and former Stralian Prime Ministers
Surf the wave – jump on and see where it takes you
Dip – swim – as opposed to that stuff you get in little bowls at fancy eating places
Snoz – nose
LamondG 