There’s an ancient riddle that goes “if a man is alone in the middle of the forest, and there’s no woman around, is he still wrong?” I learned today, yet again, that the answer is always “Yes!”
It’s a beautiful Saturday morning in Hervey Bay. We’re here for the weekend to celebrate our special friend’s “significant birthday” – you know, one that ends with a zero.
Nanette and I are enjoying a morning coffee in the holiday unit that’s our home for the weekend. The sun is shining, the breeze is breezing, and we can just catch a glimpse of the ocean through the glass doors. With the benefit of hindsight, I now realise this is where I made mistake number one. “You know”, I say, “the party doesn’t start until 2PM. We could just sit out on the balcony and watch the people strolling around the pier.”
We step outside, and I’m just about to suggest that, if we’re feeling energetic later, we could also walk to the pier and grab a few photos. But, before I can make this profound utterance, I hear those dreaded words – “Oh look, there’s a market set up in that park over the road.”
Mistake number two. What can be the harm, think I, we can take a quick whiz around the stalls, wander the pier, maybe pick up something from the bakery, then the rest of the morning is ours to relax back at this very spot, soaking up the serenity.
Mistake number three. “So,” she says, “when do you want to go to the markets?” Well, I guess I should have a shower, then I’ll just check these few emails, then …
So, anyways, about half an hour later we’ve completed the gruelling two-minute trek to the market entrance, but seem to be loitering for an incredibly long time at the first stall. Again, with the gift of hindsight, I realise this may have been another point where events took what, to me, was an unexpected turn. The conversation goes like this. Nanette – “Isn’t that hand-woven genuine wombat wool scarf pretty!” Me – “Hmm? Oh, um, yes – lovely.” Nanette – “and that top would go really nicely with …” Me – “Didn’t you just buy a new top the other day?”
Anyway, it sort of continues along these lines for a few more stalls, then, after a brief discussion about whether we actually “needed” another one of those teeny little pots sprouting some sort of cactus thing, well, even I can see that the sunshine ain’t quite so “sunshiny” any more.
Time to man up! “Um, er, darling. Is there something wrong?” To my great relief, I only get taken aside for one of those little husband re-education chats – you know, the ones where “grinch” gets mentioned, and the differences between green, emerald and turquois clothing are slowly and carefully explained. Ah, is that all? No worries. Ok then, we can go back and buy that extra special cactus thingy, walk to the pier and still have heaps of time to relax when we get back. What? After this you need to go to the shops so you can help get stuff for the party? Um, er, of course! Great idea!
LamondG 