“All it takes are a few simple outfits” – Cary Grant

One of the things I will never fully understand is how differently my darling wife and I can interpret a few simple words, especially if those words refer to clothing.  

Take, for example, the phrase “pack light”, as in “the car will be pretty full, so we better pack light.”  I’m confident I have this sorted, because, if you deduct the size and weight of my laptop, iPad, camera bag and sundry leads and chargers, my travel wardrobe would easily fit into a small backpack.  Nanette’s suitcase is, well, larger.

There was a time when I foolishly offered to help her pack more frugally, but I was sternly reminded that it takes a certain finesse to ensure each of the selected items can be correctly combined with at least one other item to make something called an “outfit”.  And, to add insult to injury, I was reminded that most of the clothes in my own carefully curated collection were “old favourites”, with the emphasis on the “old”. 

Editor’s note – It’s a well-known fact that men take a slightly different view of clothes shopping to their spouses.  We look for pants that fit, then ask a single, key question – “Ow long’ll they last?”  If the answer is something along the lines of “well, these are made from military grade Kevlar, so they’ll wear for at least twenty years”, we buy two pairs.

So, here we are, just about to depart for the beautiful Sunshine Coast and a relaxing week visiting friends.  True to form, I’ve packed an extra pair of shorts, three or four shirts and a pair of jeans in case we go “somewhere special.”  I’m eyeing off Nanette’s heavy case, swimming bag and endless assortment of shoes and oddments.  

Before I can open my mouth, she gives me that special look and says quietly, “we are NOT going to have a repeat of last weekend.”  Huh?  Oh.  That.  Well, you see, we were invited to attend what I thought was a little fund-raising dinner for a local charity last Saturday night.  Nanette asked me that morning if I knew if I knew what the dress code would be.  (You know where this is going, don’t you!)  Well, I, sort of, um, kinda confidently stated it was “smart casual”.   

Anyways, I may have been the only man there without a coat and tie, but at least I didn’t wear shorts – and I’m sure she was glad she didn’t have to get all dressed up like those other ladies.  How was I to know she’d interpret two little words like “Gala Dinner” to mean fancy.

Ok, so maybe we don’t travel that heavy after all