I hate haircuts. It always seems like I’m wasting time on something that will just get messy again anyway. Strangely enough, I actually like mowing lawns, trimming gardens and clearing out storage areas.
Kirsty knows this. At breakfast she gives me that innocent daughterly look and says, “we have to go dress shopping today. Oh, and I need to get some new shoes.” My eyes have glazed and my heart is slowing when she adds casually “you can stay here and clean up the garage if you like.” I leap at this rather obvious lifeline and agree that, yes, the garage definitely needs some attention. It’s some time later that I realise that Nanette also went to the dress shops, and I start to suspect some mother-daughter collusion that will probably cost me dearly.
The good news is that this is my chance to assemble all those shelves I got from Millie at Walmart. They’re the X1000 Super Stacker Jumbos! We don’t get these in Australia so I’m just a little excited as I open the first flat pack. Wow, these go together good! No need to connect clip A6 to toggle 17 while holding shelf B4 loosely under roller Z. I have all of my favourite music on the iPad so it’s time to let loose with some Village People greatest hits and get to work! A few minutes later, there’s a deafening noise outside. Apparently the neighbours have asked Juan the garden guy to trim the little hedge plants near our door. Juan wasn’t due for another two weeks, but the residents reckon the noise of his trimmer is better than my karaoke sing-along. I take the hint and pick some more contemporary music that I can’t even hum along to.
It seems like no time when the ladies suddenly turn up at the door. They’re here to collect me for lunch. I glance at the half eaten piece of cold pizza sitting on top of the tool box. “Didn’t you get our text?” Ah, no, I have been packing and stacking, dragging and bagging all morning and haven’t quite looked at the phone text thingy recently. “You go on without me – I’m good with pizza.” They don’t look too impressed at my nutritional efforts, but agree with the plan. “Don’t forget I need to take a load to the waste station later” I call to their retreating backs. Now, back to work.
I step back to admire my efforts and notice that Juan is no longer trimming. What? Four o’clock already? Where are those girls with the car? I make a call. “They just finished doing our nails. We haven’t looked at the shoe shops yet.” I subtly remind them that the waste transfer station closes at 5:00. They naturally see that this is a way higher priority than mere shoe shopping, and Kirsty and I are soon rolling down 96th avenue enjoying the fragrance of the rubbish bags I have piled into the Dodge. Mission completed we compare results. “I bought a new dress.” “Ha! I built some shelves!” Looks like everyone kicks a goal.